Felicity's Facilities

New sitcom for BBC1. Felicity Kendall plays Felicity, a wealthy and famous actress who decides to jack in acting finally to pursue her dream of making it as head of facilities in a large office block. Taking sexism (and ageism) in her stride, she dons some overalls, grabs a spanner, and goes around telling people where to drop them crates off. Some days she wears a hard hat; often she goes around with a clipboard. Years of clandestine practice mean she has perfected the sucking in of air timed with the sorry shake of the head. She prides herself on being unresponsive when people complain they are too hot / cold, and on overcompensating like a bitch when finally she gets round to it. She is obsessed with crates.

Meo Culpa

New sitcom on Dave+1. Tony Meo plays Tony, former professional snooker player and now full-time lav cleaner and children's entertainer. Each week Tony tries his best to help those less fortunate than himself - and each week his big-hearted scheme goes disastrously wrong! Johnny's dream of meeting a famous footballer ends up on Crimewatch; Maria, the kindly cleaner, is deported once it's revealed she's an illegal, as a result of being nominated as cleaner of the year; Gran has both her benefits and her legs cut off thanks to the home-made invention that was to make her the world's first bionic gran; that kind of thing. His meddlesome efforts are always made with the best intentions, but there's always some pesky detail or other he's overlooked. Each week Tony ends the show in an admission of guilt - Meo Culpa!

Carmen Miander

Fruit-based singer of Latin extraction who takes an awful long time to get there.

Woodchip Wotsits

The biomass snack.

Cheesey - barky - salty - fibrous fun!