Phrases of the Moon #10: Tim Witherspoon

-How do you eat your porridge?

- Why, how do you think - Tim!

Ringpiece

New cop drama for ITV1. Nicholas Lyndhurst stars as Detective Inspector Jonathon Ringpiece. He's crochety, and unconventional, but he gets results, and he's the best man in Leicestershire CID. He's got an ex-wife and two teenage daughters. He lives in the picturesque town of Market Harborough, which, despite being sleepy, has an appalling murder rate, often involving poisoned cheese, or booby-trapped pork products, say, a pork pie fitted with an IED. He's a new romantics buff, listening to tapes of ABC and OMD in his vintage Sierra, to the bemusement of his young female partner, Sally. He drinks white wine spritzers, much to the amusement of the young lads on the force. Which only makes him more crochety.

And he's got piles.