My Easter gift to you!

AT EASTERTIDE

Our Lord

Died for you and me,

Nailed to

That blessed and cursèd tree;

I’m late,

It’s almost half-past three,

Must dash –

I’ve got hot cross buns for tea.

It’s Easter, it’s Easter,

A time for eggs and fun!

Easter, O Easter,

God’s dead, have a currant bun!

Easter, it’s Easter,

When Christ rose from the dead,

Easter, O Easter,

Time to varnish the shed!

That day, the sky grew overcast

When Christ the King had breathed his last,

Look in the shed, what’s that, oh blast!

Meant to fix that old Qualcast!

It’s Easter, it’s Easter,

When Christ died for all our sins!

Easter, O Easter,

An extra day before they empty the bins!

Easter, it’s Easter,

When man committed the ultimate crime!

Easter, O Easter,

Get them in – it’s Sunday closing time!

Easter, it’s Easter,

A time for eggs and fun!

Easter, O Easter,

God’s dead, have a currant bun!

It’s Easter, it’s Easter,

When Christ rose from the dead!

Easter, O Easter,

Time to varnish the shed!

Great Victorian Inventors #2

George Stephenson was born in 1795,
He invented the Rocket and became the fastest man alive,
His sister had this bunny,
So he coated it in honey
And threw it in a hive!

On boarding the 09.10 Virgin Trains service from Reading

A seat by the window and close to the door,
I flip down the table and set down my coffee,
The smell of shit pervades throughout
The smell of shit pervades throughout
The smell of shit pervades throughout.

Hmm.

There's a pain au raisin inside my bag -

The smell of shit pervades throughout -

I've skipped my breakfast, I need to eat -

The smell of shit pervades throughout -

What do I do, oh what do I do?

The smell of shit pervades throughout.

I eat the pain au raisin.

I am -

The smell of shit pervades throughout -

A pigwig.

But that's humanity for you.

The smell of shit pervades throughout.

Some of these people are going as far as Edinburgh!

On starting work in a classical music shop

These are our days of Sturm und Drang:
Who composed the Schwanengesang?