Brevil's Advocate

New show for ITV3, starring Robson Or Jerome. He plays a barrister representing Brevil in a succession of legal suits concerning toasted sandwich-related accidents, injuries, and infernos. While by day he's a tough but fair lawyer, fighting for the rights of 1970s legacy corporations to evade compensating the little people they've disfigured, by night he makes his own rules, donning a balaclava and visiting plaintiffs in alleyways, car parks, and even their own homes, with a nail-studded baseball bat.

Property Bladder

New show on Channel 4, starring Kirsty Allsop and Roland Rivron. Each week Kirsty visits a smug pair of Tories (he's a cunt in IT, she's a horsey bitch with a bun in the oven) and asks them to wank on about how much money they've got in the guise of prevaricating over which of several mansions they'd like to buy, while Roland Rivron relieves himself on their doorstep.