Boyle's Law

New reality show for Virgin 1. Susan Boyle, fast-tracked to the position of Procurator Fiscal, tries real crimes, ranging from urinating in public, to being drunk and disorderly, to grievous bodily harm, to putting a firework up a cat's bum and watching it go bang. Each week she frowns in concentration, clearly bemused by this latest phase of insanity she's pitched up inside, before donning a home-made hanging cap, and sentencing the runty schemey to death. They are then shoved into a compression chamber, where we watch to verify whether the relationship between the pressure and volume of a gas really is inversely proportional at a constant temperature. Until they're dead.